Married, of course

There's always a guy.

So there's this guy in the office, married, of course. We have quite a strange dynamic. He would threaten me, and I would threaten him back. He would insult me, I would insult him back. He would...yeah, you get the picture.

Sometimes he would say out loud stuff like: Kung babae ka lang babanatan na kita.

(Kiligers.)

And I would be snobby and say: Di ako papabanat sa yo na. Sa daliri na lang ni ________, mas malaki pa siguro.

(Side note: This is really how we kid around in the office, mostly green, rarely flirty though. Down and disgusting most of the time. It's quite a culture. Heh.)

But the thing is, he is actually quite sweet when we're alone---outside on the balcony most of time---smoking or just hanging out. Just this morning he asked what I wanted for Christmas.

(Double kiligers!)

I have no illusions of this going any further. I take what I can. But it does make everyday a little more fun than usual.

Enchanted Hairdom

So, what's not to like in "Twilight"?

Everything.

Except Rob Pattinson. And his enchanted hair that seems to have a life of its own.

Always flowing, always graceful. Shiny, luminous, expressive. I bet if it tries to be somebody else's hair---let's say, Cher's curly, dingy mane in "Mask"---it would win an Oscar for Best Actor. Or screenplay since its incandescence tells a story. A story of---

This bitch is running out of worship.

So, what's worse than Twilight? It's fans. Some bitches in front of me were quoting the book and replying to most of Edward's cheesefest. What's scary, scarier than the movie (though I am aware that it's not a horror flick) (though I would've wanted it to be one instead of a 90210 meets Charmed meets that Gerald-Kim show on Sunday afternoons) is that they want to be Bela, that self-centered sullen thingy who always looks like she's on the verge of something nasty.

Great going Meyer. You just wrote one of the neediest female characters of all time that high school girls now look up to and aspire to become. I can just imagine the slum books (meron pa ba nito? My edge is showing!) Ambition: to be vampire lover. Bela, the vampire lover. Heh. Buffy would so kick your ass to kingdom come.

Blech. My head's all over the place. It's the hair I tell you.

I actually have no problems with the movie. It is what it is. But it's the hordes and hordes mad fans mooing endlessly how great the story is (or how magnificent the books are). Namurr. Ang chaks sobra ng dialogues and when I took a peek at the book, I almost fell into a coma. It's spineless, it delights in weakness.

Why am I even writing about this?

Oh the hair. Yeah.

Emoth

Gitna kung gitna.

Manonood kami laturz ni jowaerz na itago natin sa pangalan na Jowaerz ng "Twilight" or otherwise known as The Robert Pattinson Hair-Watching Show. Pero syet, di ko matanggal sa isip ko yung "Kiz me, beneath the milky twaylay." Sino itech suming? Mahahanap ko to sa youtube if I tried but I won't.

Wala pa naman akong close encounters sa mga Twaylay fans but I hear they are of the most annoying kind, emo na goth. Emoth! So I am judging the book by its fans...

Kaya movie na lang.

***

I am a copywriter by choice. I was almost someone important in a bigger company but it was just too stressful, yung tipong inuban talaga ako. As in. Mukha na akong 60 pag kulay ng buhok lang ang pinag-uusapan. I get the usual, "Ooh. But salt and pepper hair is sexeh." Yeah, right. I don't see you dyeing your hair white.

So fly away, far, far away from the corporate world and back into advertising kung saan weird pag hindi ka bakla. Choz! Well, medyo-medyo. Heh.

***

Wala lang cute sa bago kong opisina. Imbey.